Hedy Lamarr
Austrian/American actress who would go on to help invent a radio guidance system for Allied torpedoes during WWII. She can help guide my torpedo.
Hermann Rorschach
Swiss psychoanalyst and psychiatrist responsible for developing the Rorschach Test. Hello, Brad Pitt.
Mata Hari
Dutch exotic dancer and German spy during WW1. Need I say more?
Joseph Stalin
Soviet revolutionary and General Secretary of the Communist Party. Attractive outside, ugly inside.
Amelia Earhart
American pilot who disappeared while trying to become the first female to circumnavigate the world. I’d get lost in her Bermuda Triangle.
Jack Kerouac
American poet and novelist. A pioneer of the Beat Generation.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Wife to JFK and First Lady of the United States. I don’t care if she ate sheet metal, she’s gorgeous.
Hunter S. Thompson
Author/journalist and founder of ‘Gonzo Journalism.’ He’s giving Top Gun vibes.
Margaret E. Knight
American inventor most known for inventing the flat-bottom paper bag. Speaking of bottoms…
Nikola Tesla
Serbian/American inventor and engineer. Not to be confused with Tesla cars.
Bonnie Parker
One half of the infamous duo, Bonnie and Clyde. The only crime she’s committed is stealing is my heart.
Johannes Brahms
German composer, pianist, and conductor. Ladies love a rockstar.
Fawzia of Egypt
Egyptian princess who became Queen of Iran after marrying Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. Stone cold Fawx.
Rupert Brooke
English poet who rose to fame during WWI thanks to his sonnets. Know as ‘the handsomest young man in England.’ Damn, dude. Save some pussy for the rest of us.
Virginie Amélie Avegno Gautreau
American/Parisian socialite. She became famous as the subject of John Singer Sargent’s 1884 painting, Portrait of
Madame X. SHEESH!