Proof That Sex Changes for the Better the Older You Get
28 Oct 2014
Foreplay:
At 18: Foreplay? What’s that?
At 25: You’ve got some tricks up your sleeve.
At 30: YES PLEASE, ALL OF IT.
Underwear:
At 18: The faster it’s off, the better.
At 25: You have the perfect pair of lingerie ready to go.
At 30: Whatever you’re wearing at the time.
Level of awkwardness:
At 18: Almost totally awkward.
At 25: Nothing that some alcohol won’t fix.
At 30: You’ve got this.
Frequency:
At 18: He wants to do it all the time.
At 25: All the time you spend together is for that.
At 30: She wants to do it more than him.
Times in one night:
At 18: All the times that is physically possible.
At 25: Two or three and then spooning.
At 30: Once, but pretty damn mind-blowing.
Where:
At 18: In your parents’ house, hiding.
At 25: Anywhere, and if there’s a chance of getting caught, even better.
At 30: In the comfort of your bed.
Duration:
At 18: Five minutes.
At 25: Fifteen minutes, including the cigarette after.
At 30: Thirty minutes.
Expectations:
At 18: You’ll spend the rest of your lives together after this.
At 25: Maybe you guys can live together at some point?
At 30: Just being together right now.
whatever...
.
.