This Is Why Beaches Suck
5 Jul 2012
Diapers
Used needles
Awkward wet marks from bathing suit
Stinky wet towels and bathing suits in your laundry
Mean birds
Seagulls stealing your food
Seagulls stealing your shades
Used condoms
Having to get in the water to pee
Sand in your shoes
Not getting sunblock in the middle of your back
Tanning
Sunscreen in your eyes
Hairy backs
More hairy backs
Wind
Seaweed
Thongs
Speedos
Dogs off the leash causing trouble
Wet dogs shaking water at you
Parking
Naked babies
Kids
Crowds
Humanity
Bad beach bodies
Good beach bodies
Crabs
Jellyfish
Portuguese Man O' Wars
Sharks
More sharks
So many sharks
Get the hell out of here, shark, I hate you so much
Sand around the rim of your soda can
Sand in your car..... FOREVER
Sand
More sand
Sand EVERYWHERE
The fact I hate sand doesn't mean I don't go to the beach or that I'll make a post online solely on my hatred towards sand (my comment above didn't require a whole lot of effort and it said exactly what I felt).
However, when I do go to the beach and finally go barefoot and dive and all that, the bothersome part is getting sand all over inside the car. I think that's pretty much a general feeling, unless you're a die-hard surfer or your car is still full of sand despite not going to the beach, then you are just a pig in general.
The above reasons mentioned for hating the beach are stupid. Like the great Bill Hicks once said, there are people there with tanned skin and white teeth, and then I come along, with my white skin and tanned teeth. Also, it's a place where *dirt* meets *water*.
Other than that, the beach in my country is just lame; too many douchebags drinking Salitos and Campari and pretending to get drunk. Not to mention the most interesting things you can find out about..nothing from hearing them talk. The beach may have been something better 10-15-20 years ago, but at the moment, I see it as a big trashy douchbaggy city club - except outdoors, floor turned to sand.
Heh, I wish I could go to the mountains.